We Got Fired

Today I start the day looking for a new pediatrician.  Looking for a doctor is one of those things that I suspect a lot of people don’t like to do.  It can be a daunting task for anybody.  You want to make sure you make the right choice.  Because nobody wants to invest all of that time and money going to a new doctor and going over your medical history ad nauseam just to find out that the doctor is a flake or a jerk.  Because that’s what it really boils down to, isn’t it?  You want a doctor with a wealth of knowledge and experience or a great bedside manner.  Ideally both.  Our former pediatrician is exactly that.  She could write a textbook on how to take care of young children and her bedside manner is perfect.  She is patient and kind and understanding.  She is exactly what a doctor should be.  So why, then, do I need to find a new doctor?  Well like she said at last night’s appointment, we are “incompatible.”  As a traditional doctor she believes in vaccines and wants Gabriel to be vaccinated.  And if we aren’t going to vaccinate Gabriel then we need to find a new doctor.  “I know you do your research and you take good care of your children,” she says “but I have to think about my other patients.  I have kids who have cancer, and immunodeficiencies, and kids whose vaccines haven’t taken yet.”  As if Gabriel is some leper infected with polio and chickenpox coughing on the cancer kids.  It’s a scare tactic that I’ve heard doctors use. But I’m really sad that she used it because other than that, she was perfect.

I went to Homefirst a while back because I’ve heard great things about them and because they believe that vaccines should be a choice.  An informed choice.  Informed as in “there are no studies on the effects of giving multiple vaccines to children at one time.” And “the studies we have on each vaccine are only in relation to immediate side effects and not long term effects.”  Or “the government spends millions of dollars each year compensating families from vaccine injuries because they know that vaccines aren’t safe for everyone.” And lastly, in relation to autism and vaccines “of the 12 vaccines that children receive before the age of 2, only 1 has ever been studied in relation to autism.  And of the 30 or 40 ingredients in those vaccines, only 1 has ever been studied in relation to autism.  So saying that vaccines don’t cause autism is a stretch at best.”  An “informed choice” really means informing parents of how little information we really have about vaccines.

But I digress, this is not a post about vaccines.  Back to Homefirst…

Last year we brought Gabriel to a doctor at Homefirst for an 18 month check up.  They took his weight and height like normal, but the doctor spent almost the entire visit talking to me about my current pregnancy and my plans for birth and breastfeeding and what vitamin I was taking and whether I really needed a c-section or not. Though I appreciated the OB visit, I would have preferred that we talk more about the child that was already born.  The one that the appointment was really for.  He did, however, recommend Homefirst’s Multivitamin for Gabriel, but when we asked him what was in it, he said “I don’t know, whatever is in other multivitamins.”  We didn’t see him again after that.  But I won’t judge the whole group based on that visit.  I think we’ll go back there now and try out a different doctor.  Hopefully we’ll be more ”compatible.”

I’m sad to see our pediatrician go but I hope that I run into her someday and she asks how Gabriel is doing.  I hope that I can say “He is amazing.  He is growing into a beautiful child and I believe someday he is going to change the world.”  And in my head I will be thinking “despite of the vaccine that you gave him,” but I won’t say it.  Because even though it is painful, I know that being on this journey with Gabriel is going to bring us to a whole new level of learning and growing.  I strive to someday be grateful for being put on this path.

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