Violence - Part 4: Fights

My experiences with violence are fairly limited, and therefore, very distinct in my mind.  I can recall most if not all of my personal experience that involved violence.  On only one occassion I was the recipient of a violent attack.  It was violent in nature, but it was not very “violent.”  It happened when I was about 12. It was a late summer night and I was taking a walk around the neighborhood.  It was dark but the sidewalks and streets were pretty well lit.  Out of nowhere a group of adolescent boys on bikes rode by and one of them threw a full unopened can of pop at my head.  The can dented on my head and then exploded once it hit the ground.  The boys sped off laughing and cheering.  It hurt, but I think it was more embarassing than anything else.  I went home and cried.  People experience more violence than that on an every day basis, and so because of that I know not to fall into a Poor Me syndrome over this one incident.  What happened to me sucked, but it wasn’t the worst that could happen.  But it’s all I have, so I remember it vividly.

As an adult I’ve seen many street fights.  They all involved men or boys and they all happened at unexected times.  Like when my mom and I saw a gang of boys brawling while we were driving through our old neighborhood reminiscing about how much we enjoyed the peaceful community.  Or more recently when my family went to a Cubs game (my first) for my mom’s birthday.  We had just had an amazing time bonding and enjoying the beautiful weather right behind the dugout.  We were walking back to our car after the game ended and found two twenty something’s rolling on the gravel in front of our car - drunk on beer and high on weed.  I can’t help but feel sick when I think about the hatred and anger that flows so deeply in their hearts.  My instinct is always the same: I want to rush out there and stop the fight.  I want to yell at them and scare them so much that they run away and never fight again, but my brain knows better than to run into the middle of fighting men high on testosterone.  I end up standing there like a deer in headlights.  All I can do is sit back and watch and hope it will all be over soon.

Part 5: The Day That Changed It All coming soon…

Violence - Part 3: Understanding Violence

And now comes the question that spawned this entire blog rambling on violence.  Does the “discussion method” make it harder for children to understand violence?  Does it make a child more vulnerable in violent situations? Does it inhibit a person and make it harder for that person to learn certain life lessons?  Does it make a child more sympathetic to other peoples circumstances?  Does it make them less sympathetic?  Take me for example:

Violence - Part 2: Doing the Right Thing

My parents’ radical thinking of yesterday is an accepted creed of today.  There are numerous studies out there that say that using violence to teach a kid does not teach them to do something because it is “the right thing to do,” but instead it teaches the kid to just “not get caught doing it.”  It does not teach them why it is good or bad to do something, it only teaches them that if you get caught doing it, you might be punished.  It is also suggested that using violence on children then teaches kids to use violence on each other.  This is where the vicious cycle of violence is born.

Violence - Part 1: The Discussion Method

My parents don’t believe in using violence to resolve a problem.  They never hit, smacked, spanked, or swatted us while growing up.  The extent of the violence I experienced growing up was from play wrestling with my sister on my mom’s bed.  My parents never touched me.  When they made the decision to follow this style of parenting twenty five years ago, it was a radical notion to say the least. 

It’s the end of the world as we know it

Okay so maybe I am an alarmist, or extremist, or any other ist that warns about the end of the world, but I can’t help but think about it when I read articles like these on a daily basis:

An article about Global Warming and the many un-natural disasters our world is going through http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1839281,00.html

An article showing how close the Presidential race really is.  OMG if McCain becomes the next President we’re all surely going to die http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/09/09/presidential.polls/index.html  And here’s another about how Obama could lose votes http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/20080910/pl_politico/13317

Hadron Collider…enough said http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080910/ap_on_sc/big_bang

Geez.  what’s going to end the world first: Global Warming, McCain, or the second Big Bang?  Perhaps I’m giving too much into media.  After all, media tends to follow the line ”if it bleeds, it leads.”  But still, what do you make of all of this?

He Must Really Love Me

With my first trimester coming to a close, I am finally starting to feel grounded again after this pregnancy knocked me off my socks.  I definitely got off to a rocky start with all of the unpleasant symptoms of maternity.  But if you didn’t know that I was sick so often that I lost weight instead of gained, it is only because my husband took such good care of me that I had no need to complain to anyone else. 

This is Me

Lately I have been toying with the idea of writing a memoir.  Sure I’m only 24 but I’ve lived a story that deserves to be written down.  Whether or not my memoir would ever be read is not the point - I may never show it to anybody - the point is for me to come face to face with my past, to put it down on paper where I cannot pretend it doesn’t exist. 

Barack Obama to announce his VP

Obama will soon announce his choice for Vice President!  Be the first to know who it is by texting VP to 62262 to receive a text message when he makes his choice.  Or you can sign up at http://my.barackobama.com/vp to receive an email when he makes his decision.  This is so cool and such an unprecedented move that it makes me even more excited about the changes he can make with our country.  No other canditate in history has ever reached out to voters the way Obama has.  I feel so lucky to be witness to such a historic time.

Obama 2008

Things on my mind today

~ Today our 2009 deficit was projected at $490,000,000,000.  Phew!  That means that Bush’s present to my baby will be a rough $1600 debt that he/she will have before her very first breath is even taken

~ There will always be struggles in our life, big or small, public or private.  At what point does “helping” become “enabling?”  Is it ever possible to help a person without enabling them even just a little?  If I pay your debt today, did I help you, or did I just enable you to continue to consume more than you generate?

~ If I believe in life after death, and reincarnation, then where do I stand on when life begins?  Do we choose whose womb we will be created in or is it random?  Are we “reborn” immediately after death or is there a grace period in between each life?  I’m trying to avoid the whole “when does a baby become a baby” question, but I’m still wondering at what point does my baby become a person with a history and a soul and a past life? 

~ I’ve been watching the “Black in America” series on CNN and I think it is important for every American to see this series.  It is very educational, and it is our nations history in the making.  When an entire population of people are living a life that is unequal to the ideals of our country, then I feel it is important for us, as a nation, to take care of our brethren and stand as one in the face of adversity.  But I am just a young citizen, I don’t have the answers and I don’t know how to help.  Is it even possible for me to make a difference?  Is it possible for anybody?

Anyway, what’s on your mind today?

Help This Precious Child

Train up a child in the way he should go,
Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6 NASB

Dear God, I thank You for the gift of this child to raise,
this life to share, this mind to help mold,
this body to nurture, and this spirit to enrich.

Let me never betray this child’s trust, dampen this
child’s hope, or discourage this child’s dreams.

Help me, dear God, to help this precious child
become all You mean him to be.

Let Your grace and love fall on him like gentle breezes and give him
inner strength and peace and patience for the journey ahead.

MARIAN WRIGHT EDELMAN